He feels good - but has cancer

This was not what I was expecting.  While settling in the parents; trying to arrange for doctors for mom; purchasing the walker for mom; introducing them to the YMCA for mom; dad gets cancer.

This was not in the cards.  Dad is the well one.  Dad is the one who's never had a test out of line.  Dad is the one who's not afraid to die.

First there was blood in the urine- infection, kidney stones, stress.  None of these.  Would they go back to Chicago to visit the grand kids, or would he be in the hospital having kidney stones removed.  If only that was our worry.

The doctor said, "after the CT we found a mass in the bladder with cells that look like cancer.  But the game changer are cells I see in the lower part of your lungs at the top of the scan.  If it were just the bladder, I would go in and scrape it all out but because it looks as if it has spread, I would like to do a whole body scan."  Jesus Christ!  Isn't this enough?  Who wants to know you also have brain cancer?

"The good news is, this is not a heart attack or aneurysm, Roger.  This is something you can do something about - if you are committed to your plan."  Plan what plan?!  This wasn't the plan.

This is so unfair.  This is supposed to happen to smokers and drunks, murders and rapist.  Not my father the former priest.  Now we are in the hallway and he's talking about getting his affairs in order.  WTF!

I feel like I want to throw-up.  My head is on fire.  I had a feeling, a premonition this was going to happen.  I thought it was because I'm Irish and we like to taste our troubles before they happen but it was a very clear feeling that what I've learned from what I've been through was preparing me for this.

When do I get a break?  It's been almost 8 years since Mike died.  I thought that was the worst thing that would or could ever happen to me.  I thought I paid my dues early and I could leave a problem free life.

My grandmother was 98 almost 99 when she died.  She survived two husbands.  What little I know of my great grandmother (she was 106 when she died) she had 3 children die on the farm in South Dakota.  I guess if you live along life you have to expect there are going to be some trials.